Now the work begins!
Step one: start the conversation. Sit down with your spouse-to-be and talk about what's important and what's not. I knew that Kevin wanted to have a great party, which meant hiring a great DJ and picking a good venue. Kevin knew that pictures would be important to me, which meant hiring a great photographer. Your priorities will inform your spending decisions. You'll have to determine a budget, a time of year, a day of the week, a feel (formal, informal, etc), maybe a theme. Be flexible and easygoing (you'll likely be surprised by some of the things your fiance insists upon). This conversation will continue throughout your engagement, but start by discussing the basics and getting on the same page. You'll both have to give a little, which is how relationships work too.
Step two: make a wedding e-mail address. I was so glad I did. I used it for all of our vendors and anything wedding-related. The junk mail didn't bog down my regular e-mail and everything was in one place. We used that e-mail address for RSVPs as well, since we decided to save money by not including a little piece of paper with an envelope and stamp in our invitation.
Step three: start going to wedding shows and expos. Write your name and wedding e-mail address on every piece of paper, even if you think it's not relevant. You are likely to win some free stuff and get connected with lots of vendors. Keep going to these throughout wedding planning. The usually cost $5-10, so going to 3 or 4 is not too expensive. Plus you can get free food and dessert samples. Yum! You can bring friends or family too, though I found it was quicker to just run through by myself. Plus I felt bad dragging friends along--these things can be boring unless you are on a mission. Also sign up for wedding websites, such as the Knot and WeddingWire. They'll send you weekly inspiration e-mails (another great reason to make a wedding e-mail address) that can give you some great ideas.
Step four: book some things. Start with what will be gone once it's booked. For example, a venue can usually only have one event per day, a photographer can only shoot one event per day. If you wait too long on certain things, you might miss out on exactly what you want and have to settle. Here in Denver, venues get booked a year out and photographers can be booked 9-12 months out. Things like the baker and the florist can wait longer because those vendors can handle multiple events on the same day. The dress can take some time to come in and alter, so early is better there. Keep in mind the feel you and your fiance discussed. Make a list of questions before you talk to people and write down everything. There will be a lot on your brain, so don't make the mistake of assuming you'll remember details from meetings and visits.
Step five: involve some people. Pick your wedding party, officiant, maybe ushers and readers, flower girl and ring bearer, etc. It's polite to ask people earlier rather than later. Plus it's nice to have friends that are excited with you. Anytime someone says "Let me know how I can help," write his or her name down. Lots of people offered assistance early in the planning process when I felt like I totally had a handle on everything. Fast forward 13 months, and I was so stressed the last 3 weeks. But with so much on my brain and so much time passed, I couldn't remember who had said they would help and didn't want to ask anyone who hadn't offered. So write down those names and hold them to their word. Even if it's just having them come help clean your house or cook you a meal.
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