Wedding Planning: Make Your Day Fun

Maybe you don't want your wedding day to be fun for you or your guests. That probably puts you in the minority. For the rest of us, we want to have a good time celebrating with friends and family on this most auspicious of occasions. Yes, sometimes a few extra dollars in the right place can make all the difference. But sometimes no budgetary considerations are necessary.

1) Wedding events: For our wedding, we added 2 extra events to which everyone was invited: field day and the rehearsal afterparty. Our wedding was on a Saturday, but on Friday afternoon we organized a field day in a local park. We brought in a food truck, prepared semi-competitive games, and played for prizes and glory (I'll write a more in-depth post about this soon). We asked everyone to RSVP and we strategically made teams so that each of the 7 teams had some athletic people, some outgoing people, and 1 or 2 slightly shy people. It definitely encouraged mingling and friend-making, which helped our guests feel more comfortable boogie-ing at the wedding. Additionally, for the rehearsal afterparty, we told all our guests that we would be at a certain bar 8-10pm on Friday night. We picked a relaxed dive bar near the rehearsal dinner location and convinced the bar to extend their happy hour deals to our guests. Both of these events gave our guests opportunities to get to know one another, plus Kevin and I were able to spend more time with friends, particularly those who don't live in Denver. As evidenced by our rehearsal afterparty, an extra wedding event doesn't necessarily have to come at extra expense to you. Other options might be inviting all out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner or having a backyard party with lawn games the night before. Ask a couple outgoing friends to help with mingling.

2) Lighting: We have all been to that event. Dinner ends and dancing begins, but the lights don't dim. You don't want to be the first to step on the dance floor because grandma and grandpa are sitting directly in front of it, waiting to judge your moves. Awkward. Adequate lighting is great during dinner when you want people to converse and know what's on their fork. But most people don't like jamming in the spotlight once the party gets rolling. See if your venue can dim the lights and if your DJ or band has any kind of party lighting.

3) Beverages: An open bar is expensive. I get it. We were fortunate enough to have a venue that doesn't have its own bar, so we were able to purchase alcohol at CostCo and return the unopened wine bottles and cases of beer. Let's get real: as a guest, you don't enjoy having to pull out your wallet at a wedding reception. And a little liquid lubricant can help your cousin Rachel find the confidence to introduce herself to that cute groomsmen, and the two of them become the hit of the dance floor. There are lots of ways to keep costs down on your bar. Instead of a full bar, go with beers, wines, and a signature cocktail. Shut the bar down during dinner but have it open during cocktail hour and dancing. Avoid premium liquors. Assign someone to cut off Uncle Fred when he's had too much. This is one of those areas in which some extra spending can pay off when it comes to the fun level.

4) Your Entrance: You've said your vows, taken some pictures, signed the marriage license, and relaxed behind the scenes for a minute. All your guests have been seated and they are waiting on you. There's nothing to get a party going like an awesome entrance. We were lucky enough to have these stairs as our stage:

 Choose an upbeat song, ask your bridal party to dance out in front of you, and have the DJ or band announce your entrance. Asking a few friends to loudly whistle and cheer can help pump up the guests as well. A goofy, fun entrance signals guests that party time is about to begin and helps them feel free to bust a move. We went right into our first dance after the entrance so that guests could start dancing as soon as they were ready.

5) Toasts: We went to a wedding a while back and sat through a father-of-the-bride speech that was at least 20 minutes long. By the end, my drink was empty, my stomach was full, and inertia had caught up with me. It took a few minutes to motivate myself to hit the dance floor and another few songs to really get myself in party mode. A long toast, even when it is heartfelt and poignant and funny, can put a damper on the mood. We had 7 toasts: 4 bridesmaids, 2 of the 5 groomsmen, and my dad. But because they were all short and lighthearted (at 3 or 4 minutes, my dad's was the longest), it flew by and the party started. Give time limits to those making toasts and instruct them to make it a true toast by raising glasses at the end. This ensures that everyone feels involved in the well-wishes.

6) Relax: Put yourself in a position where you and your new spouse are able to have fun. In the weeks and months before the wedding, stay organized and plan ahead. Consider what might go wrong and prepare backup plans. Assign people to duties that need to be completed last-minute and day-of. Prepare, prepare, prepare. For the last week or few days before your wedding, make time to spend with family and friends. Trust that the work you put in will lead to an amazing day. And on the day of your wedding, relax with your wedding party and mother figure. Put on music you enjoy, pour a beverage (just 1 or 2!), eat a good breakfast, and look forward to seeing your love. A lot of hard work ahead of time means smooth sailing on your day. And when something goes wrong (and something probably will), look into the eyes of your beloved and know that everything is perfect as long as you are together. Then hit the dance floor and celebrate, because you will likely never have so many friends and family gathered in one place again.

DIY Paper Flower Boutonnieres

A few months before the wedding, I made an appointment with a local florist. We sat down, discussed our colors and feel, talked about my dress and flower preferences, looked at pictures of things I liked. Because of the crafty items I was making, I only wanted bouquets for the bridal party and boutonnieres for the groomsmen, parents, officiant, etc. When I received the price estimate in my inbox a few days later, my jaw dropped. After a few days of hemming and hawing, I came to the conclusion that I could not spend that amount on something that would die (despite how beautiful the arrangements would have looked). I went to the fabulous internet for inspiration.

Some cool alternatives I found:
-Lanterns
-Action figures
-Books/miniature books
-Pinwheels
-Button flowers

I decided on paper flowers. I will eventually share the paper bouquets I made as well, but today I'm discussing the boutonnieres. Here is the final product:

To begin, I went to a craft store and bought scrapbook paper in different shades of blue (our wedding colors). I also found a book at the thrift store that I felt no guilt in destroying. Then I started cutting circles. Each piece of 12x12 scrapbook paper yielded 4 circles of 6 inch diameter. Each book page yielded one circle. I grabbed the scissors and started cutting the circles into spirals, beginning at the outside edge and aligning each "row" of the spiral about 1 centimeter apart for the book pages and 2 centimeters apart for the scrapbook paper. I free-handed it but you could find a template if you were feeling particularly particular. I think they turned out great without one. Here is a sample:

Starting at the outer corner, I began rolling up the spirals:

*Stopping in the middle of rolling is not recommended

Once the circle was entirely rolled, I let go of it entirely so that it could relax. If it was staying tighter than I wanted, I would grab the free end and bounce the rest up and down to encourage some loosening. Then I used a dollop of hot glue on the middle of the spiral and pressed it to the bottom of the roll. Aaaaaaand repeat as necessary.

For each boutonniere, I cut a triangle of cardboard and attached one blue flower and two book page flowers. I attached each triangle to a bar pin back and the process was complete. Because I ended up making boutonnieres for 26 people (I added readers, musicians, grandparents, ushers once I realized how much money I was saving), it took a few days and I basically did the processes piecemeal, including cutting spirals in the car while Kevin and I drove up to Steamboat Springs for a weekend. But it was actually pretty hassle-free and everyone looked awesome!

Wedding Planning: Where Do I Start?!

Congratulations, you just got engaged! Call you friends and family, celebrate with your loved ones, post it on social media, enjoy a quiet moment with your new fiance!

Now the work begins!

Step one: start the conversation. Sit down with your spouse-to-be and talk about what's important and what's not. I knew that Kevin wanted to have a great party, which meant hiring a great DJ and picking a good venue. Kevin knew that pictures would be important to me, which meant hiring a great photographer. Your priorities will inform your spending decisions. You'll have to determine a budget, a time of year, a day of the week, a feel (formal, informal, etc), maybe a theme. Be flexible and easygoing (you'll likely be surprised by some of the things your fiance insists upon). This conversation will continue throughout your engagement, but start by discussing the basics and getting on the same page. You'll both have to give a little, which is how relationships work too.

Step two: make a wedding e-mail address. I was so glad I did. I used it for all of our vendors and anything wedding-related. The junk mail didn't bog down my regular e-mail and everything was in one place. We used that e-mail address for RSVPs as well, since we decided to save money by not including a little piece of paper with an envelope and stamp in our invitation.

Step three: start going to wedding shows and expos. Write your name and wedding e-mail address on every piece of paper, even if you think it's not relevant. You are likely to win some free stuff and get connected with lots of vendors. Keep going to these throughout wedding planning. The usually cost $5-10, so going to 3 or 4 is not too expensive. Plus you can get free food and dessert samples. Yum! You can bring friends or family too, though I found it was quicker to just run through by myself. Plus I felt bad dragging friends along--these things can be boring unless you are on a mission. Also sign up for wedding websites, such as the Knot and WeddingWire. They'll send you weekly inspiration e-mails (another great reason to make a wedding e-mail address) that can give you some great ideas.

Step four: book some things. Start with what will be gone once it's booked. For example, a venue can usually only have one event per day, a photographer can only shoot one event per day. If you wait too long on certain things, you might miss out on exactly what you want and have to settle. Here in Denver, venues get booked a year out and photographers can be booked 9-12 months out. Things like the baker and the florist can wait longer because those vendors can handle multiple events on the same day. The dress can take some time to come in and alter, so early is better there. Keep in mind the feel you and your fiance discussed. Make a list of questions before you talk to people and write down everything. There will be a lot on your brain, so don't make the mistake of assuming you'll remember details from meetings and visits.

Step five: involve some people. Pick your wedding party, officiant, maybe ushers and readers, flower girl and ring bearer, etc. It's polite to ask people earlier rather than later. Plus it's nice to have friends that are excited with you. Anytime someone says "Let me know how I can help," write his or her name down. Lots of people offered assistance early in the planning process when I felt like I totally had a handle on everything. Fast forward 13 months, and I was so stressed the last 3 weeks. But with so much on my brain and so much time passed, I couldn't remember who had said they would help and didn't want to ask anyone who hadn't offered. So write down those names and hold them to their word. Even if it's just having them come help clean your house or cook you a meal.